A Magical Mystery Ride: Part 1

Six months after my bone marrow transplant for Aplastic Anemia, I stumbled across this article. At the time, I existed in a state of near-constant panic.

I had spent the months immediately prior to the transplant obsessed by death, specifically the question of its imminent likelihood. Unlike most questions that haunt and hunt the questioner, I did have a specific, numeric answer to my question: 10%. My transplant doctor had told me that the procedure had a 90% success rate, so conversely, it must have had a 10% null success rate. And I assumed that null success was death.

This was a very low risk, thinking about it logically. But, thinking about it logically, it also seemed quite high. I wouldn’t get on a plane if the pilot’s voice came through the speakers to inform us that we had a 90% chance of landing. So why was I going through this procedure, again? But of course, the life I was living before the transplant, as a patient with Aplastic Anemia, was also risky.